Dating multiple people at once is the norm — here’s how to do it right
I want to talk about multiplicity in your dating life. Many people have a negative view of serial daters. They think someone who dates several people at once must be a cheater, a commitment-phobe or at a minimum, a liar. While this may be true of some women who are dating multiple people, I actually believe that there are many good and, in fact, great reasons to date several different people when you’re single. I even think that dating many people might be one of the best ways to find the one person you are really looking to find. It’s good to date outside your comfort zone.
Why You Absolutely Must Date More Than One Guy At A Time
I don’t have to tell you that dating today is the most complicated it’s ever been. Anyone who owns a phone knows that truly connecting with someone—and seeing them consistently enough to build an actual, exclusive relationship gasp —is tougher than an overcooked steak. But that’s where dating rules come in: When you have guardrails in place to help you stay in your lane and protect you from less straightforward souls, the road to finding The One becomes much easier to navigate.
Of course, everyone should have their own set of dating rules, cherry-picked to their own wants and needs. Ideally, these rules will push you toward healthy relationships and pull you away from what could become one-sided or toxic ones or not relationships at all, a. Keep in mind that sometimes the rules that are most crucial for you to follow through on might be the ones that are the least fun to keep, so try not to blow off your own dating rules just because you find them challenging.
There is more to it than acting easy-breezy. Things just won’t stay casual if you’re only dating one person. This is science, my I’m convinced I can be the exception to the rule. I bet you of Oreos. There is so much to learn during your time as a single person, whether you embrace casual dating or not.
Finding a worthwhile partner can be a serious process. Although online dating gives us access to hundreds of potential matches a day, it’s nevertheless a daunting task to sift through them all until you find someone who really just gets you. Luckily, casual dating exists, and is a great way to have fun and meet people while still hoping that something serious eventually blossoms. Personally, I’m usually not one to date more than one person at once , if only out of sheer laziness.
It’s hard enough to carry on a lively and spirited text conversation with one guy I’m interested in; trying to do more than that would feel like a full-time job. However, since I’m not in a relationship, even if I’m not technically “dating” more than one person, chances are that I’m at least chatting with a few people at any given time, getting to know them and seeing if we hit it off. Living in NYC gives me the freedom to choose from a large pool of suitors, and it’s almost impossible not to keep my options open in a city so full of men my own age, regardless of the fact that I personally have no interest in exploring polyamory or open relationships.
Even if you’re typically a monogamous person, when you’re still in the beginning stages of finding a new relationship, there’s no harm in exploring what’s out there before settling down with someone. Here are seven reasons to consider keeping your options open — it might seem like a whirlwind, but if it helps you find the right person for you faster, then it will be more than worth the craziness. Dating can make you feel helpless sometimes, like you’re at the mercy of whomever you happen to be emotionally invested in at the time.
But if you’re taking control of your dating life and have the foresight to say, “Hey, I think I’ll dip my toes in several ponds, just because I can,” it will make you feel a lot less afraid of rejection in the long run. That doesn’t mean that emotions can’t get involved with more than one person; it just might cushion the blow if things don’t work out with one person.
You’re in control of your own love life, and you should never feel like you’re waiting around for someone to break your heart. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dated someone for a few weeks, only to realize with hindsight that he was a total loser or jerk.
The DOs and DON’Ts of Dating More Than One Guy at a Time
Once upon a time, internet dating was a vaguely embarrassing pursuit. Who wanted to be one of those lonely hearts trolling the singles bars of cyberspace? These days, however, the New York Times Vows section —famous for its meet-cute stories of the blissfully betrothed—is full of couples who trumpet the love they found through Ok Cupid or Tinder. Today an estimated one-third of marrying couples in the U.
The rise of the ‘situation-ship’: is dating more than one person at a time ethical? In , the rules of dating are as ever-changing and complex as ever. often last for long periods of time without ever culminating in an official title. that a full 4–5 percent of Americans participate in some form of ethical.
In our current day and age, monogamy is the norm in most Western societies. Monogamy is a valid lifestyle choice, and many people feel comfortable dating only one person at once. In other words, any type of consensual and thoughtful romantic or sexual setup outside the realms of monogamy. And it can be a viable choice for you! This spring, I took a dive into the world of non-monogamy, dating five men at once. Through some trials and tribulations, I came up with a helpful guide for choice-craving women to ethically date multiple people at once.
If you want to continue to lead a multiple-partnered lifestyle, say it! Take your time learning about the people you are electing to spend time with! Let these meetups be an escape from the grind, not an addition to it. Keep codenames, keep a calendar organized by color, and keep it all private. And jealousy is a normal part of having multiple relationships. And of course, if the burn is too fiery, it may be time to have a dialogue with your preferred mate and talk about giving a one-on-one relationship a try.
But I am here to lecture you about protection like a hip NorCal single mom. When you need to take a night for yourself or your friends, by all means, take it!
5 Things I Learned When I Tried Dating Casually
Dating more than one guy at a time is definitely a confidence booster, but it’s also hard work oh, life is so tough, right? Don’t struggle with the juggle—we’ve rounded up a few ladies who have been there and done that to tell you exactly how to handle the tricky situations that come with playing the field. I can stay more objective until I make a decision about which situation and person better suits me, and vice versa.
These days, dating multiple people at once is something that both men and women do to enjoy a fun and exciting lifestyle full of sex, love and rollercoaster emotions. Some people want to settle down and get married right now, some want to start a family as soon as possible and others just want enjoy sex and good times for a while. The ability to make a woman feel attracted to you at will, is the most important skill you need to attract and date multiple women at once.
If you want to be the kind of guy that women date and hook up with, even though you are seeing other women, you need to be able to make them feel a LOT of attraction for you based on what you say and do when interacting with them. She will sense that you need her way more than she needs you. To get to a point where you can successfully date multiple women at once, you have to know how to make women feel INTENSE attraction for you.
When you can do that, you will see that most of the women you meet feel attracted to you. From there, you will develop a type of confidence in yourself that only a small percentage of guys have. This type of confidence is something that women notice in men and it attracts them like a magnet.
When Is The Right Time To Choose Between Two Amazing Men?
This article was updated April 26, , but was originally published Feb. Read an updated feature story with information on how social media is affecting teen dating here. Perhaps the thought of all those sweet young couples slow dancing under paper streamers coaxes a nostalgic sigh or two. Ah, reality. What to watch for: Smartphones and social media can lay traps for preteens and young teens.
Young teens have especially fragile egos, so negative peer feedback on social media can be especially damaging.
“Now with dating more than one guy, I have been able to look at what each of them would add to my life and not feel pressured about one person.
Dating is when you’re just testing out the water with a few people until you decide who you’re going in a relationship with. Dating happens when you’re interested in a person and vice versa. It’s when you find them attractive, so now you have to figure out the personality. To be “in a relationship” would mean to be boyfriend and girlfriend. You’re not in a committed relationship with anyone.
You’re going out with this man to see if this relationship will become a relationship, and you’re allowed to date multiple people to see which one is the best one for you. You’re checking out the fishes in the sea and checking which shoe fits better. It’s like being a bachelor or bachelorette.
The ‘Dating Market’ Is Getting Worse
I tend to let my feelings, carried on the wings of my very vivid imagination, get away from me almost immediately when I meet a guy I like. On the one hand, I am a strong, confident woman, and I know what I want! This is Relationship , but I think it bears repeating in the context of casual, non-serious, non-exclusive relationships. Tell them you just got out of a long relationship. Everyone involved will be better for it.
This is science, my friends.
Casual dating means you can always be on the lookout for someone new, If you’re dating more than one guy at a time, keep the details about your other Discussing your other relationships will only spark jealousy
Recently someone posed the question of whether or not it was cheating if someone was dating multiple people when there has been no discussion concerning being exclusive or committed. If you aren’t in an “exclusive relationship” then you are free to do as you please with whomever you want. Unless there has been a discussion which expressively states that neither person will date or have sex with others there is no commitment.
Should this individual discover this person is also dating or having sex with others they’re likely to react as if they were “cheated” on. The “betrayed person” feels the other person should have told them they were seeing others and the so called “cheater” feels like since they never discussed being “exclusive” or “monogamous” they did nothing wrong. Its two sides of the lack of communication coin. Both people made assumptions! Time is the slippery slope.